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Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. Get the hell out of my cab. As they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.

The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him? I'll take an eight. A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. After several minutes an older worker had had enough.

A doctor receives a phone call from his colleague while having dinner with his wife. A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. This peaks his curiosity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog.

Then the dog acts in turn with all the other players, calling, raising, discarding, everything the other human players were doing. However none of the other players seemed to pay any mind to the fact that they were playing with a dog, they just treated him like any other player.

Finally the man could no longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players, "I can't believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world!

Some of these gambling jokes you may have heard before. Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Steven Wright Poker is like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing. Dutch Boyd If you're playing a poker game and look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you Paul Newman.

When a man with money meets a man with experience, the man with experience leaves with money and the man with money leaves with experience. ME Trust everyone, but always cut the cards.

I heard some gambling jokes, one about a guy who goes into a casino and sees a sign that reads: When they answered he says, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do? At the psychology university the teacher that just finished a long lecture about mental health wanted to do a quick oral quiz for the students. The course was about the manic depression so the question of the teacher was: After start all windo EQuake by F-Group Software, download from Small-town insight valuable in D.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? What is a zebra? An unlikely swimmer -- or, should I say, floater -- turned up in Lake Yosemite recently. A dead cow was found drifting near the water tower on the lake's western shore. The tipster who reported the cow to me said she first spied the animal more than two weeks ago during one of her morning walks. It happens at every college, but it's indicative of a closely knit bunch of people.

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To Nintendogs is the killer app Nintendo was looking for. Nick Heidfeld has revealed that he has already begun talks regarding a seat for next season.

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Even best-selling authors get nervous. Ask British writer Nick Hornby just how nervous, and he laughs nervously. Then there's a repeat performance from his muted, nervous chug of a chuckle. New York Press Local critics praising Paul Haggis' Crash accidentally reveal racism so deeply hidden in their own privilege that they casually ignore it while expressing high-minded appreciation for this film's fake controversies.

Nothing appeases a wounded culture more than a blanket condemnation of other people. New York Press At Chann. Or Select a criteria from below: One Liners Stories If you've ever been in a band and had your music criticized by the local weekly, you probably thought, "Screw them!

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Playwright inspired by his native Cornwall, whose work often dealt with vanishing worlds. Baxter Black's poetry and stories are full of noble horses, dumb ranch dogs and beautiful cowgirls. But those poor cowboys. You don t have to believe this story, but once upon a time I became a choir boy at St. John s Anglican church and almost passed out one hot summer day during the service.

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Two pilots, in a jovial mood as they flew an empty commuter jet, wanted to "have a little fun" by taking the plane to an unusually high altitude last October, only to realize as the engines failed that they were not going to make it, according to transcripts released Monday.

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Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final Features a few Santa Banta jok. Bureau unveils tourism campaign The Oregonian, Portland, Ore. Hotel Online OSU to. In a graceful flurry of motion, participants in a recent dinner at Hoover's Up the Creek Restaurant on Alabama communicated with each other in signs while others at the restaurant could only sit and watch.

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Damon Wayans has plan to stay funny Columbus Ledger-Enquir. A BLACK family grieving over the suicide of a bullied relative say their holiday in Wales was ruined when they were exposed to "offensive" jokes. The dual wedding - onepart "I do" in law, one part "I do" in spirit - increasingly is common as the rite of coupling becomes more complicated. There are international couples interfaith couple. Race Mannners, my less amok, more reader-oriented I want to help you persona, is a bit surprised by that 49er video that you can check out after reading this column http: A House Appropriations subcommittee has voted to sharply cut back federal support for public radio and TV and, within two years,.

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As a teenager, Adam Hills vowed that comedy was the one thing he'd never give up. Sure, I've seen Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason's beloved sitcom character, flickering across the tube in glorious black and white, once or twice. Not recently -- but up in the high numbers of a half-decent cable package.

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The response has been as sharp as it has been divided, with the verdict still out on whether the MA15 show should be pulled from screens.

Lets Share Our KalPoint. A lethal mix of censorship and identity politics wreaks havoc in Indian public life, yet again. Here are the top ten funnytxt messages Send free sms, logos. A fun but formulaic call of the wild Long Beach Press-Telegram 'Madagascar' drifts to the familiar Centre Daily Times "Madagascar" follows the classic fish-out-of-water format, yanking four thoroughly domesticated animals from the Central Park Zoo and plunking them in the wild, wild kingdom.

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