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Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. Get the hell out of my cab. As they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.

The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him? I'll take an eight. A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. After several minutes an older worker had had enough.

A doctor receives a phone call from his colleague while having dinner with his wife. A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. This peaks his curiosity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog.

Then the dog acts in turn with all the other players, calling, raising, discarding, everything the other human players were doing. However none of the other players seemed to pay any mind to the fact that they were playing with a dog, they just treated him like any other player.

Finally the man could no longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players, "I can't believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world!

Some of these gambling jokes you may have heard before. Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Steven Wright Poker is like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing. Dutch Boyd If you're playing a poker game and look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you Paul Newman.

When a man with money meets a man with experience, the man with experience leaves with money and the man with money leaves with experience. ME Trust everyone, but always cut the cards.

I heard some gambling jokes, one about a guy who goes into a casino and sees a sign that reads: When they answered he says, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do? At the psychology university the teacher that just finished a long lecture about mental health wanted to do a quick oral quiz for the students. The course was about the manic depression so the question of the teacher was: After start all windo EQuake by F-Group Software, download from Small-town insight valuable in D.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? What is a zebra? An unlikely swimmer -- or, should I say, floater -- turned up in Lake Yosemite recently. A dead cow was found drifting near the water tower on the lake's western shore. The tipster who reported the cow to me said she first spied the animal more than two weeks ago during one of her morning walks. It happens at every college, but it's indicative of a closely knit bunch of people.

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To Nintendogs is the killer app Nintendo was looking for. Nick Heidfeld has revealed that he has already begun talks regarding a seat for next season.

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A group of sixth-grade girls recently surrounded one of their classmates at the Rupert A. Nock Middle School in Newburyport. And if you think you've been there and done that, take note: Several rides and attractions are new this y.

Even best-selling authors get nervous. Ask British writer Nick Hornby just how nervous, and he laughs nervously. Then there's a repeat performance from his muted, nervous chug of a chuckle. New York Press Local critics praising Paul Haggis' Crash accidentally reveal racism so deeply hidden in their own privilege that they casually ignore it while expressing high-minded appreciation for this film's fake controversies.

Nothing appeases a wounded culture more than a blanket condemnation of other people. New York Press At Chann. Or Select a criteria from below: One Liners Stories If you've ever been in a band and had your music criticized by the local weekly, you probably thought, "Screw them!

They couldn't do what I do, man! John Waters' career divides nicely into "Old Testament" and ". News What's cute about racist kitsch? Are 'Mammy' and 'Uncle' replicas OK just because similar antique figurines have become San Francisco Chronicle Tiger Woods may have ripped up the record books, says Lawrence Donegan, but he has failed radically to change the culture of his sport.

Playwright inspired by his native Cornwall, whose work often dealt with vanishing worlds. Baxter Black's poetry and stories are full of noble horses, dumb ranch dogs and beautiful cowgirls. But those poor cowboys. You don t have to believe this story, but once upon a time I became a choir boy at St. John s Anglican church and almost passed out one hot summer day during the service.

Remember the days of RAM disks? Claiming speeds of up to 60 times faster than a standard hard drive, Giga-bye has been dem. Terell Stafford's brash but lyrical trumpet style is reminiscent of Clifford Brown in its simultaneous ability to push and inhabit a groove.

Two pilots, in a jovial mood as they flew an empty commuter jet, wanted to "have a little fun" by taking the plane to an unusually high altitude last October, only to realize as the engines failed that they were not going to make it, according to transcripts released Monday.

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The ability to connect with a crowd? It really takes a great deal of each, but above all it takes guts or balls, whatever you prefer. John Bradshaw Layfield and Stacy Keibler have sites in the works as they'd like to push their personal outside of wrestling ventures. JBL's should be up soon and Stacy's already has an address at stacykeibleronline. If you are among those who do,. A funny thing happened on the way to the House of Commons.

The country is a-flower with new Shins fans, while the coffers of Messrs. Hollywood actor Tom Cruise has denied rumours his relationship with actress Katie Holmes was just a fabricated publicity stunt.

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Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final Features a few Santa Banta jok. Bureau unveils tourism campaign The Oregonian, Portland, Ore. Hotel Online OSU to. In a graceful flurry of motion, participants in a recent dinner at Hoover's Up the Creek Restaurant on Alabama communicated with each other in signs while others at the restaurant could only sit and watch.

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Damon Wayans has plan to stay funny Columbus Ledger-Enquir. A BLACK family grieving over the suicide of a bullied relative say their holiday in Wales was ruined when they were exposed to "offensive" jokes. The dual wedding - onepart "I do" in law, one part "I do" in spirit - increasingly is common as the rite of coupling becomes more complicated. There are international couples interfaith couple. Race Mannners, my less amok, more reader-oriented I want to help you persona, is a bit surprised by that 49er video that you can check out after reading this column http: A House Appropriations subcommittee has voted to sharply cut back federal support for public radio and TV and, within two years,.

Funny Videos - video clips free online. Al Siebert visits a local coffee shop that has a plastic cup near the cash register. On it is printed: Are you a dog lover or a cat fancier? Usually one or the other is true but seldom both, at least among grown-ups. Children aren't so choosy. They tend to like all animals, domesticated to dinosaurs. Scant surprise, then, that the creatures feature prominently in kids' computer games. Another man, known only as Jok Jok, who was said to have fired the first shot, was also killed.

But you have to just let it go," he says. Categories include bombs, feelings, ghetto, secrets, and special days. New York City - Photos: The things the year-old did -- he laughed out of embarrassment when asked to elaborate -- weren't exactly religious, he said. Random Insults Generators, Offensive Slang, In what prodemocracy activists are describing as a blow to freedom of expression, a court here jailed a university student on Friday for insulting President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono.

TEHRAN -- An Iranian weblogger arrested in a crackdown against online dissent has been sentenced to two years behind bars for "insulting the supreme leader" Ayatoll. Funny Downloads - Funny Videos and funny video clips! Two years ago, I wrote a two-part piece on junk e-mail. Every day I receive around 80 pieces of e-mail. Do you think I read every one of those? I delete more than half of them without even opening them. Am I being rude?

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Mike Collins said his father used to tell people that it took his son three terms to get through college at the University of North Carolina. Nixon's, Ford's and Carter's. Dick Durbin, D-Springfield, grinned and shared some humor with residents. Getting serious about comedy Sydney Morning Herald http: Crushing the Competition Cleveland Scene Our famous stunts A stoner walks into a bar And he hasn't had any nookie in awhile E-Mail There have been: Constantly imitated, never duplicated.

We got a jam-packed edition today! The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist [or, "a genius"]. You know what they say about mixing business with pleasure. It was meant to be funny -- but no one is laughing now in the San Francisco 49ers' front office over an in-house training film that featured off- color racial jokes, lesbian porn, a spoof of gay marriage and a trio of buxom, topless blondes frolicking with team public relations director Kirk Reynolds.

Steve Jobs keynote Engadget RottenEggs. Goofy Humor - Funny Pictures, funny jokes, cartoons, pics, humor, Sean encourages students to enjoy college and step up as leaders in their organizations. Chetan Bhagat may well have scraped th. Lords of Pain In Madagascar , the wild things romp, then roam. It's fair to say that Madagascar , directed by one man who made Antz and another who used to work on Ren. Chevrolet Monte Carlo pictures and photos gallery. Baxter Black's tales of cowboy woe keep audiences laughing Bozeman Daily Chronicle poetry.

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As a teenager, Adam Hills vowed that comedy was the one thing he'd never give up. Sure, I've seen Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason's beloved sitcom character, flickering across the tube in glorious black and white, once or twice. Not recently -- but up in the high numbers of a half-decent cable package.

Adrian Searle picks his way through the world's largest, most prestigious art show: Mary G is more than the Queen of the Kimberley.

Steve Jobs keynote Engadget http: Todd McKenney doesn't often dance, but he belts out plenty of songs with well-honed vigour and he talks - he talks a lot. As part of our efforts to educate Americans about Canadian culture, we bring you the. As part of our efforts to educate Americans about Canadian culture, we bring you the http: When Nick Hornby sat down to write his latest comedic novel he had to do some research to get the details right, including just how tall a building must be to guarantee your suicide leap goes off as planned.

The response has been as sharp as it has been divided, with the verdict still out on whether the MA15 show should be pulled from screens.

Lets Share Our KalPoint. A lethal mix of censorship and identity politics wreaks havoc in Indian public life, yet again. Here are the top ten funnytxt messages Send free sms, logos. A fun but formulaic call of the wild Long Beach Press-Telegram 'Madagascar' drifts to the familiar Centre Daily Times "Madagascar" follows the classic fish-out-of-water format, yanking four thoroughly domesticated animals from the Central Park Zoo and plunking them in the wild, wild kingdom.

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